Center Theatre Group News & Blogs

#EveryCostume Tells a Story

Center Theatre Group — Tue, 30 Jun 2015 20:14:00 -0700

Many of the costumes you see on our stages are created at The Shop, Center Theatre Group’s prop and costume shop in Boyle Heights. As part of The Shop initiative, which aims to make theatre a part of everyday life, we’ve put up costume displays at libraries around Boyle Heights. We’re excited to be showing off costumes we love that tell some of our stories.

The suit that landed you the job. The glass slippers that took Cinderella to the ball. #EveryCostume tells a story. #CTGcommunity is telling some of ours through displays @losangeleslibrary branches around #BoyleHeights that spotlight the creations of The Shop, the company’s prop and costume shop. Share the stories of your own #costumes on social media with us: tag @CTGLA #EveryCostume. At top, librarians Lupie Leyva & Patty Tarango pose at Robert Louis Stevenson Library; at bottom, librarian Greg Summers poses with two patrons at Benjamin Franklin Library.

A photo posted by Center Theatre Group (@ctgla) on
Jul 1, 2015 at 10:11am PDT

At Benjamin Franklin Library (2200 E. 1st St.) you can see a few of the costumes worn in our 2006 production of The Cherry Orchard, Anton Chekhov’s final play, alongside sketches created by the designer that detail everything from the fabric to the buttons and zippers.

If you’ve ever wondered what goes into making a period piece, head to Malabar Library (2801 Wabash Ave.) and check out costumes from our 2013-2014 production of The Steward of Christendom, which is set in 1930s Ireland. The Shop replicated vintage dresses in order to make sure the costumes could withstand the show’s entire run.

And at Robert Louis Stevenson Library (803 Spence St.), you can see costumes from our 2013 production of August Wilson’s Joe Turner’s Come and Gone. Along with the costumes and sketches are swatch ID cards, which help everyone in The Shop stay on the same page about the costume fabric, from where it can be bought and how much it costs to where it goes on that particular clothing item.

We invite you to check these displays out, and to share the stories of your own costumes on social media with us. Tag @CTGLA on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and use the hashtag #EveryCostume.

Stay tuned for more posts from us that tell the stories behind the costumes you see onstage. To learn more about The Shop, email us at Community@CenterTheatreGroup.org or call 213.972.8028.

Inner Circle Donors Get a Glimpse Into the Making of ‘Throw Me On the Burnpile and Light Me Up'

Center Theatre Group — Wed, 17 Jun 2015 20:16:00 -0700

The writer and star of Throw Me On the Burnpile and Light Me Up and her director, CTG Associate Artistic Director Neel Keller, answered this question and more from donors at Center Theatre Group’s eighth annual Inner Circle Ambassadors’ Reception. Donors attended the closing performance of the KDT’s work-in-progress production of Throw Me On the Burnpile and Light Me Up on Sunday, May 31. Afterward, they enjoyed an exclusive question and answer session in which they offered high praise to Alibar as she explained the alchemy behind transforming two weeks of rehearsals, two years of writing and a lifetime of memories into the funny, engaging play they had just seen.

Throw Me On the Burnpile and Light Me Up depicts a tumultuous childhood based heavily on Alibar’s, and on her relationship with her father, a criminal defense attorney with clients on death row. When asked how closely the play hews to her own life, Alibar said that while the feel is quite autobiographical, some of the events took place at different times, and some characters were combined. In response to the question of how she became the accomplished writer she is today, Alibar credited free public programs, including the generous scholarships of the Sewanee Young Writers Program and Young Playwrights Inc., a New York City non-profit that gave her support and professional mentors at a young age.

Alibar and Keller were also asked what they learned from these work-in-progress performances at the KDT. Alibar said she had learned that “I’m from this very specific world,” that can be hard for outsiders to comprehend. The idea of religion as a day-to-day aspect of people’s lives, for instance, or the fact that Florida has one of the largest death rows in the country and executes more people than most other states, surprised audiences.

Keller said that going into the performances, he and Alibar had chosen six stories, but they weren’t 100 percent sure why. Seeing them onstage together, they realized that the stories “do build on each other and take you places,” forming one story of a year in a young girl’s life during which she tries to understand mercy, justice, and death. Before donors mingled and enjoyed gourmet hors d’oeuvres and desserts from EnjoEat in the KDT lobby, Alibar thanked them for their support, then fielded one last compliment about Throw Me On the Burnpile and Light Me Up: “It’s almost a love letter to life.”

Inner Circle donors provide crucial annual support to CTG that allows us to provide the resources playwrights need to develop exciting new work like Throw Me On the Burnpile and Light Me Up. For more information about how you can attend events like this to enrich your theatre-going experience, contact Individual Giving at 213.972.7564.

Matthew Sweet & more: a selection of songs from 1990–1995

Center Theatre Group — Tue, 16 Jun 2015 20:19:00 -0700

Maybe you joked to each other about the Counting Crows, but you still knew all the words to "Mr. Jones."

Maybe you'd both recorded the Gin Blossoms off the radio.

Todd Almond's Girlfriend is the story of your first love. Of your first mixtape. Of finding a connection to each other through a connection to the music. Girlfriend is something of a time capsule for all of us, but particularly to the early 1990s, thanks to music from from Matthew Sweet’s landmark pop album of the same name, which came out in 1991.

Let this playlist from that era take you back — savor the good memories, the awkward moments, the first feelings. Then, let us know: what was on your teenage mixtape? @CTGLA #GirlfriendCTG on Twitter and Instagram.

The Fringe @ CTG has their cake (and eats it too) at ‘Matilda The Musical’

Center Theatre Group — Fri, 12 Jun 2015 00:10:00 -0700

Guests enjoyed hosted drinks, like Lavender’s Cocktail (named after Matilda’s best friend) with vodka sponsored by Ketel One, and hors d’oeuvres named after foods that appear in the show like Matilda’s reading snack (cheese and crackers), Honey’s biscuits (cookies) and The Wormwoods’ TV dinner (flatbread pizza). For dessert, everyone got a slice of a chocolate cake labeled “Property of Ms. Trunchbull,” Matilda’s frightening headmistress.

regram @jontakehiroyu Ms. Trunchbull, is your favorite scientist Sir Isaac Newton? #FringeCTG #MatildaTour #CTGLA

A photo posted by Center Theatre Group (@ctgla) on
May 29, 2015 at 11:49pm PDT

Fringe guests were also invited to compete with one another to come up with responses to the question,” If you could say one thing to Ms. Trunchbull, what would it be?” Second prize, two VIP tickets to the GRAMMY Museum and a copy of the Roald Dahl book Matilda, went to “Did you skip leg day?” First prize was two tickets to The Fringe’s upcoming Girlfriend event at the Kirk Douglas Theatre and a copy of Matilda. The winning response: “Is your favorite scientist Sir Isaac Newton?” (a play on the newt Lavender slips into Ms. Trunchbull’s drinking glass).

It was a great evening for all—and luckily, Ms. Trunchbull wasn’t around to force us to finish our cake.

The Fringe is a group of young professionals in their 20s, 30s and 40s who love theatre and believe in its importance in Los Angeles. With an annual tax-deductible membership starting at just $35, Fringe members attend mixers throughout the season, enjoy discounts on performance tickets and network at behind-the-scenes events. For more information about becoming a Fringe member, visit CenterTheatreGroup.org/Fringe or call 213.972.7276.

Immerse yourself in the words and music of rock critic Lester Bangs

Center Theatre Group — Wed, 10 Jun 2015 00:14:00 -0700

To get in the mood for the world premiere of How to be a Rock Critic at the Kirk Douglas Theatre, we’ve put together a playlist of songs Bangs loved and lauded. Rock out to “Wild Thing” and “Give It To Me” by the Troggs, a band Bangs immortalized in a landmark essay titled “James Taylor Marked for Death.” Jam with J. Geils Band’s “Whammer Jammer” with the instrument of your choice — harmonica, air guitar or typewriter, the last of which Bangs himself played onstage with the band. And immerse yourself in “Cyprus Avenue” from Van Morrison’s Astral Weeks, an album that served as a lodestar for Bangs, “proof that there was something left to express artistically besides nihilism and destruction.”

You can find some of Bangs’ reviews online in the archives of Rolling Stone and The Village Voice. Perhaps you’ll agree with Los Angeles writer Maria Bustillos, that Bangs “had the most advanced and exquisite taste of any American writer of his generation, uneven and erratic as it was.” Writing for The New Yorker’s website in 2012, she explained what it meant to be a devotee of Bangs’ criticism:

What he was really leading us to was the one true church of intellectual curiosity and open-mindedness. There was subtlety and elegance in his reasoning, generosity, and the best kind of skepticism: the skepticism that turns back on the author himself. This last aspect of Bangs’s writing was the most revelatory to me. It was the virtue I sought most to emulate, then and now.

Rocker and writer Richard Hell concurred in The Village Voice in 2003:

Nevertheless, of all the most highly regarded rock journalists … Lester was the only one who valued self-doubt and who actually seemed to like the music more than he liked himself. Lester was a critic who reserved the right to be wrong, which seems to me admirable. Like many rock writers Lester took extreme stances, but unlike the other most flamboyantly contrary of them, he didn't paint himself into a minuscule corner of supported music, and he didn't go sour with cynicism and resentment …

Intrigued? How to be a Rock Critic is Upstairs @ KDT through June 29. If you want more Bangs after that, you just might have to turn to the Romilar.

The Beautiful, Strange, Brilliant, Sloppy Genius of Lester Bangs

Malcolm K Darrell — Mon, 08 Jun 2015 00:22:00 -0700

I have to admit, I knew nothing about Lester Bangs until the death of his career-long subject, Lou Reed, in 2013. It must have been something I heard on NPR (my modern-day encyclopedia) that put their names together. Both were artists who sought truth in their individual crafts and had an uncanny way of making sure people heard them. The thing we’re all hoping the world recognizes, our voice, is what has most intrigued me about this outlier in journalism. Bangs’ voice was not contrived or conceived as part of a brand to be followed, he was uniquely himself. In his June 14, 1979 Rolling Stone review of Lou Reed’s “The Bells” Bangs wrote:

Reed achieves his oft-stated ambition – to become a great writer, in the literary sense. More than that I cannot say, except: Lou, as you were courageous enough to be our mirror, so in turn we’ll be your family. You gave us reason to think there might still be meaning to be found in this world beyond all the nihilism, and thereby spawned and kept alive a whole generation whose original parents may or may not have been worthy of them. If one is to be haunted by ghosts, who’s to say they’re not specters of love pouring back from dead angels and living children?

Wow! This is not just true of Reed; this is the essence of who Lester Bangs was – a man full of complexity, shaped by his difficult past and childhood experiences, but truly a genius. It also demonstrates the intelligence of his work as a journalist: his ability to tap into an artist’s creative process while critically assessing the work.

So what is it about Lester Bangs that I personally connect to? The awkwardness, the angst, the honesty, the unabashed love for his craft, his true fandom? All of it! His reality and truth become yours for just a moment when you read his reviews or hear him speak. What’s fascinating about Bangs is not only was he writing about great art and the times in which the art was conceived; he was writing about himself.

The fall of 1968 was such a terrible time: I was a physical and mental wreck, nerves shredded and ghosts and spiders looming and squatting across my mind. My social contacts had dwindled almost to none; the presence of other people made me nervous and paranoid … [“Astral Weeks”] assumed at the time the quality of a beacon, a light on the far shores of the murk; what’s more, it was proof that there was something left to express artistically besides nihilism and destruction.

In yet another poetic and editorial moment, Bangs’ review of Van Morrison’s “Astral Weeks” shows us how music and art can be all the human contact we need to heal our hearts, soothe our minds and awaken our consciousness to the world we inhabit. So why not be you? Everyone else is already taken! Besides, the world is desperate for and in need of more beautifully strange rock critics.

How to Be a Rock Critic, which is based on the writing of Lester Bangs, runs at the Kirk Douglas Theatre June 17 – 28, 2015. Written by Jessica Blank and Erik Jensen, performed by Jensen and directed by Blank.

Matilda The Musical Lyrics

James Sims — Fri, 05 Jun 2015 00:25:00 -0700

Eric
MY MUMMY SAYS I’M A MIRACLE!

Tommy
MY DADDY SAYS I’M HIS SPECIAL LITTLE GUY!

Amanda
I AM A PRINCESS

Bruce
AND I AM A PRINCE.

All Girls
MUM SAYS I’M AN ANGEL SENT DOWN FROM THE SKY

Bruce, Eric, Tommy, Nigel
MY DADDY SAYS I’M HIS SPECIAL LITTLE SOLDIER
NO-ONE IS AS HANDSOME, STRONG AS ME

Bruce
IT’S TRUE HE INDULGES MY TENDENCY TO BULGE

Nigel Bruce Tommy Eric
BUT I’M HIS LITTLE SOLDIER, HUP TWO FOUR FREE!

Alice, Hortensia
MY MUMMY SAYS I’M A MIRACLE
ONE LOOK AT MY FACE AND IT’S PLAIN TO SEE.
EVER SINCE THE DAY DOC CHOPPED THE UMBILICAL CORD
IT’S BEEN CLEAR THERE’S NO PEER FOR A MIRACLE LIKE ME.

Nigel, Tommy
MY DADDY SAYS I’M HIS SPECIAL LITTLE SOLDIER
NO ONE IS AS BOLD OR TOUGH AS ME
HAS MY DADDY TOLD YA, ONE DAY WHEN I’M OLDER
I CAN BE A SOLDIER

Nigel
AND SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE!

Children’s Entertainer
ONE CAN HARDLY MOVE FOR BEAUTY AND BRILLIANCE THESE DAYS
IT SEEMS THAT THERE ARE MILLIONS OF THESE
ONE-IN-A-MILLIONS THESE DAYS
“SPECIALNESS” SEEMS DE-RIGUEUR
ABOVE AVERAGE IS AVERAGE, GO FIGUEUR,
IS IT SOME MODERN MIRACLE OF CALCULUS
THAT SUCH FREQUENT MIRACLES DON’T RENDER EACH ONE
UNMIRACULOUS?

All Kids
MY MUMMY SAYS I’M A MIRACLE
ONE LOOK AT MY FACE AND IT’S PLAIN TO SEE.
EVER SINCE THE DAY DOC CHOPPED THE UMBILICAL CORD
IT’S BEEN CLEAR THERE’S NO PEER FOR A MIRACLE LIKE ME.

Lavender
MY MUMMY SAYS I’M A PRECIOUS BARRELINA
SHE HAS NEVER SEEN A PRETTIER BARRELINA
SHE SAYS IF I’M KEEN I HAVE TO CUT DOWN ON THE CREAM
BUT I’M A BARRELINA SO GIVE ME MORE CAKE!

Dad 2
TAKE ANOTHER PICTURE OF OUR ANGEL FROM THIS ANGLE OVER HERE

Mum 2
SHE IS CLEARLY MORE EMOTIONALLY DEVELOPED THAN HER PEERS

Dad 2
WHAT A DEAR

Mum 1
THAT’S RIGHT, HONEY, LOOK AT MUMMY

Dad 1
DON’T PUT HONEY ON YOUR BROTHER

Mum 1
NOW SMILE FOR MUMMY SMILE FOR MOTHER

Dad 1
I THINK HE BLINKED

Mum 1
WELL, TAKE ANOTHER

Dad 3
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SCHOOL REPORT? HE GOT A C IN HIS REPORT

Mum 3
WHAT?

Dad 2
WE’LL HAVE TO CHANGE HIS SCHOOL, THE TEACHER’S CLEARLY
FALLING SHORT

Mum 4
HE’S JUST DELIGHTFUL

DAD 4
SO HILARIOUS AND INSIGHTFUL,

All Parents
MIGHT SHE BE A LITTLE BRIGHTER THAN HER CLASS
OH YES SHE’S DEFINITELY ADVANCED.

Children (same time as parents)
MY MUMMY SAYS I’M A MIRACLE
ONE LOOK AT MY FACE AND IT’S PLAIN TO SEE.
EVER SINCE THE DAY DOC CHOPPED THE UMBILICAL CORD
IT’S BEEN CLEAR THERE’S NO PEER FOR A MIRACLE LIKE ME.
MY MUMMY SAYS I’M A MIRACLE
THAT I’M AS TINY AND AS SHINY AS A MIRROR BALL
YOU CAN BE ALL CYNICAL
BUT IT’S A TRUTH EMPIRICAL
THERE’S NEVER BEEN A MIRACLE,
A MIRACLE AS MIRACLE AS ME.

Parents (same time as children)
TAKE ANOTHER PICTURE OF OUR ANGEL, SHE/HE LOOKS LOVELY IN
THIS LIGHT
I KNOW I OUGHTN’T SAY THIS BUT SHE/HE IS THE CUTEST HERE AM I
RIGHT?
I THINK YOU’RE RIGHT!
COME HERE HONEY, NEXT TO MUMMY,
DON’T PUT HONEY ON YOUR BROTHER.
SMILE FOR MUMMY, SMILE FOR MOTHER!
I THINK SHE/HE BLINKED.
WELL, TAKE ANOTHER.
MIRACLE!
MIRROR BALL!
YOU CAN BE ALL CYNICAL
BUT IT’S A TRUTH EMPIRICAL
THERE’S NEVER BEEN A MIRACLE
A MIRACLE -

Can't get enough Matilda music and lyrics? Enjoy these videos and sing-along with the music!

Literacy Day at the California African American Museum: August Wilson's words come to life

Jonah Gould — Thu, 04 Jun 2015 00:32:00 -0700

One of the first displays I noticed was a collection of photos documenting a trip Elise Woodson took to visit prominent historic locations of the civil rights movement. As I took in the exhibits and saw preparations underway for the day’s festivities, I felt excitement, importance, tradition, celebration and history in the air—an appropriate environment for the performances the other finalists and I would soon share. In celebration of National Children’s Book Week, CAAM offers an annual Literacy Day which includes celebrity readers, local authors, arts and crafts workshops, live entertainment, booksellers on-site and book giveaways.

Although I was a finalist in 2014 and have spent the last year living in New York City, I instantly felt a connection with the 2015 finalists I met that morning. Despite our different ages, races, social, cultural and economic backgrounds, all of us were united by an appreciation for and a connection to the work of August Wilson.

To me, that is the greatest power of this program. The August Wilson Monologue Competition is not really a competition—at least not in the sense that there are winners and losers. Although I was fortunate enough to “win” in Los Angeles and perform on Broadway, the true reward of this experience was in engaging with these plays and connecting with other kids who are passionate about telling stories. In that way, I think anyone who bravely decides to enter is a winner. I gained insights through guidance in the audition process, workshops and master classes that I will carry with me forever—both as an actor and in life.

To meet someone else who has been lucky enough to have this experience is to meet someone whose own voice has been strengthened by August Wilson’s words—who, no matter their background, can connect to the way Wilson’s plays capture race and class dissolving through human struggles and triumphs. One by one, to the cheers of our families, members of the community, children, babies and people at the museum who just followed their curiosity, we went up and performed our monologues.

After everyone had performed, we answered a few questions from those in the audience—many of whom had never engaged with Wilson’s work before. My hope aligns with that of Literacy Day at the California African American Museum itself: that we inspire kids and adults alike to pick up one of Wilson’s plays and read. Because if there is one thing I have learned from reading his plays and playing some of his characters, it is that his words are powerful. And so are mine.

Exploring Social and Artistic Growth with the Students of the August Wilson In-School Residency

Hailey Moran — Mon, 01 Jun 2015 00:37:00 -0700

Throughout my time as CTG’s August Wilson In-School Residency intern, I have taken on the challenge of assessing the program’s structure and curriculum. Having observed over 16 sessions at three of the four partnering schools, I have gained special insight into what aspects of the program have really resonated with the students, as well as which activities still need some revision. I have also been able to participate in the planning and development of the program. This includes attending the two program team building meetings that occur at the beginning and in the middle of the residency program with CTG staff, teaching artists and the residency teachers; helping coordinate the residency students’ field trip to the August Wilson Monologue Competition Regional Finals; and contributing to the ongoing internal project development meetings. With this position, I have also had the privilege of watching students discover, create and analyze the ways in which August Wilson and his influences inspire artistic development.

One of my favorite memories during the residency program was at Thomas Jefferson High School. The students were exploring one of August Wilson’s four inspirations, the blues. The related activity challenged students to write their own lyrics. After being presented with a brief example, the students jumped right into the activity. Within minutes, they were writing about anything and everything, including pencils, sweaters, tacos and friendship. One student even discovered that she had a talent for songwriting. She wrote almost four verses in less than 15 minutes. Before sharing her song with the class, she convinced one of her classmates to join in with an accompanying beat! It was so great to see students excited about art-making and proud of the work they were creating.

One student who particularly stood out to me was a fifth-year high schooler at PUC CALS Early College High School. In the beginning of the program, he was often in the corner of the classroom, hood on, head down and avoiding eye contact with CTG teaching artist Khanisha Foster. However, as Khanisha made an effort to make him feel included and discover concepts and topics that engaged him, such as music, he began to slowly open up. The first spark was after he attended the August Wilson Monologue Competition’s Regional Finals. Khanisha said that he was really engaged with Wayne Mackins-Harris’ monologue performance of Herald Loomis from Joe Turner’s Come and Gone. Then, after watching a video performance of a scene from Fences, he opened up about how it reminded him of the relationship he had with his own father. Finally, on the last day of the residency, the reflection day, he shared with the class a very honest and personal Bearden-inspired collage, paired with a just-as-impressive artist statement: “My artwork represents how I’ve been excluded but now I feel stronger in the world.” What a journey! I was so proud of him – for allowing himself to be open and for letting his voice be heard.

In four months, these students learned about the themes in all 10 plays from August Wilson’s Century Cycle, including reading the play Fences in its entirety; attended the August Wilson Monologue Competition Regional Finals at the Mark Taper Forum; engaged in community conversations on culture, identity, family, sacrifice, politics and past and present American history; and created their own short scenes, blues songs, picture collages and poems. Not only were these selected students now August Wilson scholars, some were “Wilsonian soldiers,” armed and ready to battle the social injustices present in their respective communities. During the open mic-style reflection day at Los Angeles River School, one student shared her personal essay about growing up in a patriarchal household where women are mistreated. She voiced how she is now motivated to change that in her community. “My goal is to be a role model for young girls,” she stated.

What’s next for the August Wilson In-School Residency program? One recommendation that I leave with CTG in my final days is to consider publishing the curriculum and making it easily accessible to other educators. What if August Wilson’s plays were taught and performed as much as William Shakespeare or Tennessee Williams? How would that change the social beliefs and interactions of this next generation?

I hope that August Wilson’s stories, themes and influences carry on in the lives of the residency students. I hope that they continue to challenge themselves both artistically and socially, finding ways to share their voice with their communities. Most importantly, I hope the students continue to be inspired, in the same way this internship has inspired me.

Center Theatre Group News & Blogs

#EveryCostume Tells a Story

Inner Circle Donors Get a Glimpse Into the Making of ‘Throw Me On the Burnpile and Light Me Up'

Matthew Sweet & more: a selection of songs from 1990–1995

The Fringe @ CTG has their cake (and eats it too) at ‘Matilda The Musical’

Immerse yourself in the words and music of rock critic Lester Bangs

The Beautiful, Strange, Brilliant, Sloppy Genius of Lester Bangs

Matilda The Musical Lyrics

Eric MY MUMMY SAYS I’M A MIRACLE!

Tommy MY DADDY SAYS I’M HIS SPECIAL LITTLE GUY!

Amanda I AM A PRINCESS

Bruce AND I AM A PRINCE.

All Girls MUM SAYS I’M AN ANGEL SENT DOWN FROM THE SKY

Bruce, Eric, Tommy, Nigel MY DADDY SAYS I’M HIS SPECIAL LITTLE SOLDIER NO-ONE IS AS HANDSOME, STRONG AS ME

Bruce IT’S TRUE HE INDULGES MY TENDENCY TO BULGE

Nigel Bruce Tommy Eric BUT I’M HIS LITTLE SOLDIER, HUP TWO FOUR FREE!

Alice, Hortensia MY MUMMY SAYS I’M A MIRACLE ONE LOOK AT MY FACE AND IT’S PLAIN TO SEE. EVER SINCE THE DAY DOC CHOPPED THE UMBILICAL CORD IT’S BEEN CLEAR THERE’S NO PEER FOR A MIRACLE LIKE ME.

Nigel, Tommy MY DADDY SAYS I’M HIS SPECIAL LITTLE SOLDIER NO ONE IS AS BOLD OR TOUGH AS ME HAS MY DADDY TOLD YA, ONE DAY WHEN I’M OLDER I CAN BE A SOLDIER

Nigel AND SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE!

All Kids MY MUMMY SAYS I’M A MIRACLE ONE LOOK AT MY FACE AND IT’S PLAIN TO SEE. EVER SINCE THE DAY DOC CHOPPED THE UMBILICAL CORD IT’S BEEN CLEAR THERE’S NO PEER FOR A MIRACLE LIKE ME.

Lavender MY MUMMY SAYS I’M A PRECIOUS BARRELINA SHE HAS NEVER SEEN A PRETTIER BARRELINA SHE SAYS IF I’M KEEN I HAVE TO CUT DOWN ON THE CREAM BUT I’M A BARRELINA SO GIVE ME MORE CAKE!

Dad 2 TAKE ANOTHER PICTURE OF OUR ANGEL FROM THIS ANGLE OVER HERE

Mum 2 SHE IS CLEARLY MORE EMOTIONALLY DEVELOPED THAN HER PEERS

Dad 2 WHAT A DEAR

Mum 1 THAT’S RIGHT, HONEY, LOOK AT MUMMY

Dad 1 DON’T PUT HONEY ON YOUR BROTHER

Mum 1 NOW SMILE FOR MUMMY SMILE FOR MOTHER

Dad 1 I THINK HE BLINKED

Mum 1 WELL, TAKE ANOTHER

Dad 3 HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SCHOOL REPORT? HE GOT A C IN HIS REPORT

Mum 3 WHAT?

Dad 2 WE’LL HAVE TO CHANGE HIS SCHOOL, THE TEACHER’S CLEARLY FALLING SHORT

Mum 4 HE’S JUST DELIGHTFUL

DAD 4 SO HILARIOUS AND INSIGHTFUL,

All Parents MIGHT SHE BE A LITTLE BRIGHTER THAN HER CLASS OH YES SHE’S DEFINITELY ADVANCED.